I kind of hated myself for it. I was like, 'I'm stupid, I should have known better. I'm a bad kid.'"

That’s how Jennifer Araoz described her feelings after she says she was raped by Jeffrey Epstein. In the fall of 2001, at 14, Araoz was recruited outside her Manhattan high school to give massages to Epstein in his Upper East Side townhouse. She was often in her underwear and Epstein nude and masturbating on a massage table.

Araoz returned to Epstein’s home many times over the next year, lured by the $300 she was paid for each visit, and the fact that Epstein served as a type of paternal figure to Araoz, whose father had died of AIDS when Araoz was 12. She believed Epstein, who was wealthy and often boasted of his connections, could one day help her become a Broadway actress.

But that all changed a year later when, Araoz, then 15, was ordered during one of her visits to remove her underwear before she says Epstein grabbed and then raped her.

"I was terrified, and I was telling him to stop. 'Please stop,'" Araoz told NBC News’s Savannah Guthrie in an interview this month. "He had no intention of stopping."

Araoz says she suffered crippling anxiety in the years following the attack. She dropped out of school and gave up on her dream of becoming an actress.

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JOHANNES EISELE//Getty Images
Alleged victims Annie Farmer (left) and Courtney Wild (right) leave the courthouse after of a bail hearing in Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking case on July 15, 2019.

Araoz isn’t the only alleged victim to speak out. Five other women—Jena-Lisa Jones, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, Courtney Wild, Sarah Ransome, and Michele Licata—have publicly described the sexual abuse they suffered after being lured to Epstein’s homes in Palm Beach, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and New York City when they were teens. This week, Annie Farmer came forward to say Epstein was “inappropriate” with her. Scores of others have shared their stories anonymously. Many describe being paid cash for massages similar to the ones Araoz detailed. Giuffre says she also participated in orgies with older men while underage. Jones says she was told by Epstein during one of his massages to take off her clothes and was then fondled.

Epstein, 66, is being held in Manhattan and due in court tomorrow as part of his bail hearing on federal sex-trafficking and conspiracy charges. They outline his recruitment and abuse of dozens of underage girls in New York and Florida in the early 2000s. This follows a 2008 Florida plea deal that allowed Epstein to avoid federal charges by pleading guilty to a single state charge of soliciting prostitution. He also registered as a sex offender, and spent 13 months in a Palm Beach county jail that allowed 12 hours of work release six days a week.

Part of the reason Epstein’s alleged victims are now speaking out is due to the dogged reporting of the Miami Herald’s Julie K. Brown. In her three-part report, published in November 2018, she talked to 80 women who said they were molested or sexually abused by Epstein.

It was the first time many of them were heard. That’s in part because there was a plea deal, and the allegations against him fell out of the national news cycle. But even after Epstein’s indictment was announced this month, media attention has focused on his reported fortune, real estate holdings, and extravagant lifestyle. Some say his alleged victims have taken a backseat.

It's in contrast to the case of Larry Nassar, another man in power as the former USA Gymnastics national team doctor, who was eventually sentenced to 60 years in federal prison after pleading guilty to child pornography charges and the sexual assault of minors. Star gymnasts like Aly Raisman testified and their fame “helped provide a platform," says Abigail Pesta, author of the forthcoming book The Girls: An All-American Town, a Predatory Doctor, and the Untold Story of the Gymnasts Who Brought Him Down. "In my interviews with twenty-five survivors for my book, many told me that despite the media attention on the case—which was amplified by the brave Olympic gymnasts—they felt their voices had been lost in the news. They felt that the media were mostly interested in the famous gymnasts, not them.”

Pesta says that “it has always been challenging for survivors of sexual abuse to be heard and believed.” But in the Epstein case, it's arguably even more difficult when survivors are trying to tell their story during a news cycle that's dominated by their alleged abuser's powerful celebrity connections and wealth.

Understanding the Impact of Trauma

The statistics are shocking. One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

The effects can be long-lasting and severe. RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network reports that victims are about three times more likely to experience a major depressive episode as adults than non-victims, and four times more likely to develop symptoms of drug abuse, and experience post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD) as adults.

“Part of PTSD involves reliving the traumatic situation—in this case the abuse—and having intrusive thoughts about the abuse when they are not wanted, such as dreams, flashbacks or thoughts they can’t get rid of,” says Elizabeth L. Jeglic Ph.D., Professor, Department of Psychology, John Jay College, City University of New York. She is also the author of the book Protecting Your Child from Sexual Abuse: What You Need to Know to Keep your Child Safe. “Anything that reminds the individual of the abuse such as smells, locations, words, and others’ stories of abuse can prompt these flashbacks.”

Jena-Lisa Jones is likely familiar with this. She says she was 14 when Epstein abused her, and she sometimes can’t shake the feeling of being back in his presence.

"You beat yourself up mentally and physically," Jones, now 30, told the Miami Herald. “"You can't ever stop your thoughts. A word can trigger something. For me, it is the word 'pure' because he called me 'pure' in that room and then I remember what he did to me in that room."

Virginia Roberts Giuffre says she was 16 when she was recruited and groomed to engage in sexual activities and sex with Epstein and his friends.

"I didn't know what would happen if I said ‘no,’” she told the Miami Herald. “I didn't know what would happen if I reported them. That 16-year-old girl just let it happen."

Childhood sexual abuse can shred one’s self-esteem, says Dr. Judy Ho, a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, making the victim feel powerless to stop or report what’s happening to her.

“These individuals often experience a loss of identity and have difficulty believing that they deserve good things to happen to them,” she says. “Sometimes they end up in other traumatic situations, for which they blame themselves even though it is not their fault.”

While both Aroaz and Guiffre have expressed remorse over keeping their stories quiet for so long, at Epstein’s arraignment, another emotion surfaced for alleged victim Michelle Licata, who was 16 at the time of her one encounter with Epstein.

"I feel like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders today. We get to be on top," Licata told ABC News. "Our stories are mattering."


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Lucy Maher
Lucy Maher

Lucy is an accomplished journalist with a 20-year track record of connecting sophisticated audiences with ideas through creative storytelling. Her writing has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, AdWeek and Four Seasons Magazine, and on sites such as CNBC.com, SELF.com, Refinery29, and Trulia.com.