70 Best Thanksgiving Jokes to Say Around the Turkey
These funny riddles and witty one-liners will leave everyone cracking up.
As much as we love Thanksgiving, it can be a busy, sometimes even overwhelming, holiday — especially when you're the host. And spending hours in the kitchen cooking the turkey, the stuffing and the sides, making sure the table is set perfectly and keeping your large group of guests busy with drinks, apps and activities can quickly make Turkey Day a bit stressful. If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed or are in desperate need of an icebreaker when those inevitable tensions break out among some family members (because what's Thanksgiving without some awkward family moments?), lighten the mood and keep both adults and kids smiling with some hilarious Thanksgiving jokes.
Of course, a few corny dad jokes won't help you finish dinner quicker or magically make your pies look straight out of a cooking show, but it will keep your guests happy so you can get everything done without people constantly asking questions and getting in your way (once you get the ball rolling with a joke, we promise, others will follow).
A fun idea? Print out a bunch of these kid-friendly jokes and Thanksgiving trivia on slips of paper and spread them around the house for your family and friends to find and share with one another, or even give everyone one to read at the dinner table before digging in. And who know, a few of them might just make the perfect Thanksgiving Instagram caption to pair with any sweet photos you might get of the event this upcoming holiday season.
Did you hear the one about the rude turkey?
It was jerk-y.
What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
Where did the Pilgrims stand after landing on Plymouth Rock?
On their feet.
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What do you call rain on Turkey Day?
Fowl weather.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
Why was the turkey asked to join a band?
He could bring his own drumsticks.
When are turkeys the most grateful?
The day after Thanksgiving.
Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread?
It's a crummy job.
How do little pumpkins cross the road?
With a crossing gourd.
What Thanksgiving treat is the most popular at the kids' table?
Crayon-berry sauce.
Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield?
Because the corn has ears.
What's something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving?
A family member giving you the bird.
What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey?
All About That Baste."
What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g.”
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize?
It was outstanding in its field.
Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving?
Your close group of pal-grims.
What sound does a turkey's phone make?
"Wing, wing."
What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
Yammies.
What’s a Pilgrim’s favorite dance?
The turkey trot.
What's the forecast for Thanksgiving, regardless of what the meteorologist says?
Sweater weather.
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