Husband and wife with coronavirus die alone in same N.J. hospital a week apart

Susana and Alfredo Pabatato

Susana Pabatao, 64, and Alfredo Pabatao, 68, both contracted the coronavirus and died in the same hospital a week apart.Courtesy of Sheryl Pabatao

Sheryl Pabatao could hear machines beeping furiously through the phone when she told her hospitalized mom Susana that her husband of 44 years died from the coronavirus. Lying in a bed floors away in the same facility, Susana was waiting for her own COVID-19 test results.

“I could hear her vitals going down," Sheryl Pabatao said of the March 26 phone call. Then, the line went silent.

A half-hour later, Sheryl Pabatao said her 64-year-old mother called her back sounding defeated. Doctors put Susana Pabatao on a breathing and feeding tube later that night— and she fought for four days before dying.

“Even though my parents were in the same hospital, they weren’t able to see each other,” Sheryl Pabatao said. “I don’t know how that feels to lose the love of your life of four decades.”

As COVID-19 sweeps across the country, entire families have been hit by the illness. One New Jersey family from Freehold ravaged by the virus lost four members, while 19 others were tested and quarantined.

Sheryl Pabatao’s parents, both health care workers from Palisades Park who had underlying conditions including diabetes, began feeling sick about three weeks ago. The weekend prior, the family had a small gathering after an uncle’s death, and a majority of the 12 people at the service ended up ill, Sheryl Pabatao said.

On March 17, Sheryl’s father, Alfredo Pabatao, 68, started experiencing a fever that reached 102 degrees. He went to his doctor two days later, who told him to go to an emergency room. He admitted himself that night to Hackensack Meridian Health Palisades Medical Center in North Bergen, where he works as a transport aide, walking patients from room to room.

That night, Susana Pabatao, an assistant nurse at a nursing home, started experiencing symptoms too. She had a fever that fluctuated, but hovered around 103 degrees. So Sheryl Pabatao and her mother tried to get tested.

For three days in a row, the pair woke up at 7 a.m. to wait in line at the Bergen County Community College test site. Her mother, tired, fought through her illness while waiting for hours in their car. But the site hit capacity each time, and they were turned away.

Sheryl described the experience as “frustrating and helpless.”

Susana Pabatao waiting on line at the Bergen County Community College coronavirus test site before being turned away. "It's frustrating," her daughter said.

By March 23, with her husband still hospitalized and on a ventilator, Susana Pabatao had trouble breathing and swallowing. Her fever reached a high of 103.9 degrees. Finally, Sheryl Pabatato was able to convince her to also go to the hospital where her father was.

“She said she didn’t want to go because she didn’t want to be alone,” Sheryl Pabatao said.

At the hospital, Sheryl Pabatao said her mother was doing well until her father died on March 26.

When Sheryl Pabatao told her mother the news, she tried to calm her down. But Susana, sounding resigned to the illness, asked her daughter to find her parents’ life insurance and 401K paperwork. Susana also asked Sheryl to locate her “Do Not Resuscitate” order because she wanted to sign it.

“She said ‘I can’t do this anymore. I’m having such a hard time breathing... I don’t want any tubes on me,’” Sheryl Pabatao said. “I said ‘Mom, I know you’re sad. But please don’t say this. You’re not going to die.’ I was just trying to put positivity on her.”

That night, Susana Pabatao had a rapid decline in vital signs, and doctors intubated her.

Susana and Alfredo Pabatao met as neighbors in the Philippines and immigrated to the U.S. in 2001. They died four days apart from each other in the same New Jersey hospital.

Sheryl and her siblings debated whether they should ask the physicians to remove the breathing tube at their mother’s wish, but ultimately decided to let her fight the virus.

Four days later, she died. Alfredo Pabatao tested positive for COVID-19 about six days after being swabbed, but the family is still waiting for Susana’s results.

“She tried to fight. But she had no progress or regression. We were probably just keeping her alive," Sheryl Pabatao said.

Her parents met in their early 20s, when the two were neighbors in the Philippines each dating different people. Both broke up with their significant others, and gravitated toward each other, Sheryl Pabatao said. After dating for seven months, they got married and immigrated to the U.S. in 2001.

She says she’ll remember her parents as simple people, who loved going on walks together, shopping and traveling.

Sheryl Pabatao hopes her parents’ story pushes others to take social distancing guidelines to heart.

“My parents went from 0 to 100,” Sheryl Pabatao said. “I think people need to take this seriously. We all need to care for each other at this point. This is the time to care for our community and our neighbors."

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Avalon Zoppo may be reached at azoppo2@njadvancemedia.com. Follow her on Twitter @AvalonZoppo. Find NJ.com on Facebook.

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