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Black, Queer And Too Tired To Be ‘Proud’

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According to Merriam-Webster, intersectionality is "the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination (such as racism, sexism, and classism) combine, overlap, or intersect especially in the experiences of marginalized individuals or groups." The concept of intersectionality was introduced by Kimberlé Crenshaw and has become the lens through which many understand the compounding effect of injustice on marginalized groups. There are many lenses through which the current experience of black, queer people in America can be viewed, but intersectionality seems to speak to it poignantly. Individuals that are both black and queer are caught in a vortex of despair and celebration. 

The last couple of weeks have been devastating for many black people in the United States. The death of George Floyd at the hands of four police officers, one of which literally had his knee on his neck, sparked widespread protests across the country. George Floyd's death came soon after the death of Breonna Taylor, who was shot by police officers eight times while lying in her bed asleep. Breonna Taylor's death came right on the heels of Ahmaud Arbery's death, who was shot and killed in broad daylight after an unprovoked altercation with two white men, one of which was a former police officer, while he was out for a jog.  

It was not the death of these individuals alone that sparked nationwide protest but instead the culmination of many years of wrongful deaths and police brutality. So, if you are black in America, the weight of the last couple of weeks has been profound. But what if you are both black and queer? If so, you are experiencing the fever pitch of racial tension that is currently taking place at the same time that the LGBT community is supposed to be celebrating Pride Month. 

For some, the intersection of racial identity and queer identity may pose no problem at all. But, for others, the thought of celebrating anything at this time is unfathomable. This is not to say that either perspective is wrong; it is to say that it is essential to create space for varying points of view. 

For those that are too tired, hurt, or broken to celebrate, please know that sitting out this Pride Month is okay. The events of the last couple of weeks have been exhausting for many. Self-care is important, and if you need time to heal and restore, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Stopping to acknowledge your fear, grief, anger, and pain is appropriate. Be gentle with yourself. 

For those that see engagement in the larger Pride festivities as an important way to express their feelings at the moment, go for it. You may feel that what you need at this time is an increased sense of belonging, and there is certainly belonging to be found in the LGBT community, particularly during this time of the year. You may also feel like to sit out this Pride Month would be to lose yet another aspect of yourself, and that too is fair. Be gentle with yourself. 

It may be the case that the pendulum does not fully swing either direction for you. You may not quite want to celebrate Pride Month, but you may also not want to sit it out entirely. If this is the case, you might find yourself engaging in some activities while abstaining from others. For example, you might find that you are comfortable sharing social media posts about Pride Month or participating in workshops, webinars, and other intellectual exchanges. But that does not necessarily mean that you will feel up to participating in a Pride parade. And, again, that is okay.

If you are queer and black at this moment in American history, you are experiencing a unique and possibly confusing set of realities. However you choose to navigate these waters is fine. What is most important is that you be gentle with yourself and know that there is no time limit for grief. You may not be able to put yourself back together in enough time to celebrate within the month of June. Extend yourself grace. After all, you are grieving the last 400 years.

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