We tell Asian America’s stories to go beyond being seen.
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Before Me
A five-part story from Self Evident and award-winning journalist Lisa Phu,
about one woman’s journey from Cambodia to America,
and a long overdue conversation between mother and daughter.
RELEASED November 29, 2022
Before Me, Part 1 of 5: Firstborn
When I became a parent, my mom flew across the country to help me take care of my firstborn child. And she opened up to share a story I’d never fully heard, about her firstborn child — the sister I’ve never met.
RELEASED December 6, 2022
Before Me, Part 2 of 5: Photograph
As the genocidal regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge takes hold of Cambodia, my mom and dad run for their lives — separated from my cousin, Lynn, who is then faced with keeping her siblings alive in a forced labor camp.
RELEASED December 13, 2022
Before Me, Part 3 of 5: Beautiful Country
Reunited with my cousin Lynn, my mom becomes a gold dealer to support her growing family — and realizes that the charmed childhood she had in Cambodia is nowhere to be found for her own kids. She recounts the joyful memories that helped her hold on for more than five years as a refugee in Vietnam, before making the decision to leave both countries for good.
RELEASED December 20, 2022
Before Me, Part 4 of 5: Head of the House
At the moment my mom steps onto a small fishing boat off the coast of Cambodia, headed for a refugee camp in Thailand under cover of night, she becomes the head of our family. It takes her less than a year to make it safely to her new home in New York, give birth to me, and learn how to be a single parent in the U.S. But it will end up taking her decades to process what she’s overcome, what she’s become, and what she’s left behind on the beaches of Cambodia.
RELEASED December 27, 2022
Before Me, Part 5 of 5: Birthday Card
Just before I gave birth to my daughter Acacia, I turned 36. And on my birthday my mom sent me a birthday card that was full of heartfelt words — more than she’d ever written to me before. On the last night of her visit to help me take care of Acacia, as she read the card aloud, I realized how I was — and still am — a part of the lives that came before me.
RELEASED Jun 1, 2023
Self Evident Presents: “Live! Making Before Me w/ Lisa Phu” (by The Vietnamese Boat People podcast)
Our friend Tracey Nguyen Mang, host of The Vietnamese Boat People, goes behind the scenes with Lisa Phu in this conversation — about how to document the lives of our parents, when that process can feel overwhelming.
Listen to Season 3
Series Trailer
RELEASED October 26, 2021
Episode 021: “Don’t Eat Nazi Shit Melons” (1/2)
When a court leak shows that a farmer in Bloomington, Indiana may be part of a white nationalist hate group, local academics, activists, and farmers demand that the city remove that person from the city-run market. But when the city refuses, the people pushing for change quickly realize that removing white nationalists from the market requires them to challenge a more deeply rooted system of White power.
RELEASED November 9, 2021
Episode 022: Scary to Imagine (2/2)
As Bloomington, Indiana’s public clash over organized White nationalism comes to a head, the effort to oppose White supremacy and create an alternative to White power takes a toll on the activists who have been leading it.
RELEASED November 23, 2021
Episode 023: Back to School, But Not Back to Normal
As U.S. schools reopen their doors, Cathy checks in with Asian American parents, students, educators, and advocates to hear how the pandemic continues to re-shape their lives and change the boundaries of what we consider “normal.”
RELEASED December 7, 2021
Episode 024: Only Fans
Three conversations — about fabricating a cultural connection through a girl group, trying to define intimacy through gay porn, and falling out of love with Bollywood stars — unpack the foundations and limitations of wanting to see ourselves in popular culture.
RELEASED December 21, 2021
Episode 025: Diaspora Mixtape Vol. 1
Community Producer Rochelle Kwan — who goes by YiuYiu in her DJ life — invites three of her favorite DJs to create our first annual mixtape! Featuring musical selections by Les Talusan (a.k.a. Les The DJ of OPM Sundays), Arshia Fatima Haq (of Discostan), and Roger Bong (of Aloha Got Soul), and of course YiuYiu (of NYC Manhattan Chinatown).
RELEASED January 4, 2022
Bonus: Diaspora DJ Roundtable 2021 Feat. Les Talusan, Arshia Fatima Haq, and Roger Bong
Community Producer Rochelle Kwan (a.k.a. YiuYiu in her DJ life) gathers the DJs who joined her in curating our first annual mixtape — to chat about how we can use music to reconnect our diaspora communities, across generations and borders.
RELEASED January 18, 2022
Episode 027: Specially Processed
Cathy reports from behind the scenes of a surreal new play by Jaime Sunwoo: Specially Processed American Me. Sharing preview scenes from the show, Jaime and Cathy dive into Spam’s unexpected history, the challenges and rewards of interviewing older generations, and how those conversations have helped her process her own identity as an Asian American.
February 7, 2022
Episode 028: Heartbeats
Two stories about people taking on the role of caregiver — an immigrant son racing to reach his parents, who have been hospitalized with covid in India, and a Micronesian mom in Missouri who’s become the entire health care system for her son, who lives with cerebral palsy — show what happens when family is your only lifeline.
February 22, 2022
Episode 029: Say Goodbye to Yesterday
Amidst the ongoing crush of anti-Asian violence in America, Producer James turns to a personal source of restoration: ska music (yes, that ska music). And the more he peels away the layers of nostalgia surrounding ska fans and ska musicians — including Asian Man Records owner Mike Park and Jer “Skatune Network” Hunter — he finds that this oft-misunderstood subculture has something real to offer in a world that can feel like it’s crumbling beneath our feet.
RELEASED May 18, 2022
Episode 030 (BONUS): Hunger Strike! How Immigrant Taxi Drivers Took on City Hall
When Augustine Tang’s father passed away, Augustine decided to inherit his taxi medallion – the license that had allowed his father to drive a yellow taxi cab in New York City for decades. But the medallion came with a $530,000 debt trap and years of struggling to escape it.
Listen to Season 2
Our second season followed Asian Americans during the first year of the pandemic — to support their communities, fight racism, and confront some very uncomfortable realities at a pivotal moment in history.
We also found some joy, laughs, and moments of grace through it all.
RELEASED August 25, 2020
Episode 009: Hate Goes Viral (1/3)
Two incidents of anti-Asian racism — the beating of an elder in a San Francisco park and the harassment of a mourning son in a New York pharmacy — reveal an ugly side of the COVID-19 pandemic.
RELEASED September 29, 2020
Episode 011: Here Comes the Neighborhood (2/3)
When three neighborhood watch groups pop up with the goal of defending their neighborhoods from anti-Asian racism and crime, the diverging approaches that they take reveal how much American communities rely on a “law-and-order” definition of safety.
RELEASED October 15, 2020
Episode 012: We Hear You (3/3)
How can Asian American communities create safety, when the harms of racism and xenophobia are so deeply rooted in our society? A feminist activist, a non-binary community organizer, and a Muslim advocate for students share their visions for community safety, and how they strive for the freedom to be one’s whole self in today’s United States.
RELEASED November 17, 2020
Episode 013: I Voted
During the 48 hours of uncertainty after November 3, 2020, our producer James called over a dozen people to hear their frustrations with how we vote for President and process his own feelings of cynicism. The conversations that followed — particularly with younger Asian Americans — led him to a surprising source of hope.
RELEASED December 7, 2020
Episode 014: Conversations About Conversations
During this year’s protests for Black lives, the national conversation was filled with calls to have uncomfortable conversations about anti-Blackness. We chat with a few folks who’ve done exactly that, to hear what really happens when Asian Americans talk to their loved ones about racism.
RELEASED December 28, 2020
Episode 015: Finding Joy
When Joy, who recently immigrated to the U.S. from China, finds herself trapped in an abusive relationship, she makes the choice to walk away from the family she thought she always wanted — and rebuild the family she always thought was broken.
RELEASED January 18, 2021
Episode 016: A Day at the Mall
Remember when it was perfectly normal to bounce around your local mall, recording conversations with over two dozen people as they figure out their next steps in life? …Well, neither do we — but this audio time capsule of a California shopping plaza is a reminder that no matter what part of the story we think we’re in, it’s OK to feel lost.
RELEASED February 11, 2021
Episode 017: Saving the Seeds
Why do Asian Americans have such deep relationships with fruits like mango, persimmon, and durian?
Cathy goes on a quest to find the answers from our listeners, fellow food writer Priya Krishna, heritage melon farmer Kristyn Leach... and Cece, her friendly neighborhood fruit vendor.
RELEASED April 14, 2020
Episode 007 (Bonus): Unpacking Pandemic Racism
The struggle to save lives from COVID-19 is far from over, and neither is America’s struggle with racism.
RELEASED June 23, 2020
Episode 008 (Bonus): What Are We Showing Up For?
You’ve said the words, “Black Lives Matter.” You’ve put your money where your mouth is. You’ve shown up for the marches. What next?
We pass the mic to two community workers, to clarify why and how today’s movement for racial justice is asking us to defund the police.
RELEASED September 8, 2020
Episode 010 (Bonus): Mulan 1998 (A Reflection)
Two Asian American olds (Cathy and James) watch the original Mulan for the first time, then join a seasoned fan (Julia) — for an animated discussion about the limitations of Hollywood representation, the saving grace of gender-bending innuendo, and what exactly it is about Mulan that resonates with so many Asian Americans who grew up with it.
Listen to Season 1
Our first season followed people reclaiming their history, working to stop unjust deportations, healing old family wounds, and questioning the very definition of “Asian America.”
Those stories have been used in college campus curricula, community gatherings, and Employee Resource Group programming for a variety of workplaces. It was an inspiration to see what happens when we treat our stories as resources, which can empower people to make their own change from the ground up.
RELEASED May 21, 2019
Episode 001: Whose Dream Is This, Anyway?
Two stories about Asian Americans striving to find home reveal painful contradictions in our revered narrative of “making it” in America.
RELEASED JUNE 4, 2019
Episode 002: The Non-United States of Asian America
A few personal stories about the term “Asian American” reveal the conflicted feelings behind this label we sometimes take for granted.
RELEASED JUNE 12, 2019
Bonus Interview: On Class, Kinship, and Being Bangladeshi American
Sharmin Hossain, a member of New York’s Bangladeshi Feminist Collective, helps us take a hard look at the roles of class, colorism, and cultural education within the broader conversation about Asian representation in America.
RELEASED JUNE 18, 2019
Episode 003: The Talk We Were Supposed to Have
One man’s mission to reconnect with his parents changes how he sees himself, and his heritage, forever.
RELEASED JULY 2, 2019
Episode 004: Pull up the Roots
Three conversations about letting go of something that’s always defined who you are — and becoming the person you didn’t think you were allowed to be.
RELEASED JULY 16, 2019
Episode 005: Hello, Freedom Man
As the Trump administration moves aggressively to deport Southeast Asian Americans with criminal convictions, a daughter of Vietnamese refugees wrestles with how her community can stand for freedom.
RELEASED JULY 31, 2019
Episode 006: So Where Are We Really From?
Conversations about how we learn what came before us — and figure out what comes next.
Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month 2021
Roundtable conversations hosted by the Self Evident team during that time of the year.
MAY 12, 2021
Episode 018 (Bonus): How Do We Go Beyond Representation? Feat. Eliza Romero, Marvin Yueh, and Thomas Mangloña II
We often take for granted that “seeing people who look like us” — especially in mass media — means progress towards racial justice. But what forms of representation do we see making an impact? And who is that impact for?
MAY 18, 2021
Episode 019 (Bonus): How Do Stories Change Lives? Feat. Randy Kim and Tracey Nguyen Mang
The impact of storytelling is often portrayed as a story changing the life of the person consuming it — and changing the world by reaching as many people as possible. But what about the person who offers their story to be consumed? How else can we define the value of our life’s stories, and the importance of how they’re shared?
MAY 26, 2021
Episode 020 (Bonus): How Do We Build the Places We Want to Work For? Feat. Gautam Srikishan and Snigdha Sur
The phrase “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion” is buzz-word-ier than ever, but what does it really take to empower workers and reduce racialized harm in the places where we spend so many of our waking hours? And when is it OK to simply stop trying?
Self Evident Presents
During our off-season we share stories and voices from other audio shows, plus special collaborations with fellow storytellers.
RELEASED June 10, 2021
Self Evident Presents: "Underground Aams Trade, Pt 1" (by See Something Say Something)
Pakistani-American communities in the U.S. rely on dealers on WhatsApp to gain access to their most coveted treasure: Pakistani mangoes. And they pay a premium for it. In part one of this two-part investigation, reporter Ahmed Ali Akbar searches for answers.
RELEASED July 2, 2021
Self Evident Presents: “Shikata Ga Nai” (by Julianne Sato-Parker)
In the midst of pandemic lockdown, Julianne becomes fixated on a single phrase that she’s heard her grandmother, Bobbe, say for decades: “That’s the way the ball bounces.” When Julianne connects the dots between these nondescript words and what Bobbe experienced in a U.S. concentration camp during World War II, she reveals a deeper story about resistance and resilience.
RELEASED July 15, 2021
Self Evident Presents: “When Your Country Doesn’t Trust You” (by WorldAffairs)
Host Philip Yun and the WorldAffairs team hear from US Congressman Andy Kim about how the power competition between China and the US creates fear and anxiety on the homefront, which often escalates to anti-Asian rhetoric. Then, we hear the stories of two scientists, Wen Ho Lee and Xiaoxing Xi. Both were racially profiled by the FBI—and falsely accused of spying for the Chinese government.
RELEASED July 29, 2021
Self Evident Presents: “Juicy Fruit: The Ripe Time to Talk About Relationships” (by the Dragon Fruit Podcast)
Dragon Fruit, a new podcast from our friends at APIENC, spoke with queer community members to explore love, intimacy, and relationships. What does love mean for each of us and what does love beyond romance look like? How has our understanding of love changed over time? And how do we navigate being in relationship with each other?
RELEASED August 12, 2021
Self Evident Presents: “American Revolutionary: The Evolution of Grace Lee Boggs” (by Making Contact)
The public radio show Making Contact takes a close look at Boggs’s lifetime of vital thinking and action; from labor to civil rights, to Black Power, feminism, the Asian American and environmental justice movements and beyond. Revolution, Boggs said, is about something deeper within the human experience — the ability to transform oneself to transform the world.
RELEASED August 26, 2021
Self Evident Presents: “Bharatanatyam: Project Caste” (by Shoes Off)
The Asian Australian podcast Shoes Off takes a close look at the history of Bharantanatyam, a style of Indian classical dance commonly studied and performed in modern-day arangetrams. Who holds the power in propagating Bharantanatyam and who is being erased in this process?
RELEASED September 9, 2021
Self Evident Presents: “[No] Child Left Behind” (by Re:Work)
The UCLA Labor Center’s Re:Work podcast shares the story of Phal Sok, a Cambodian refugee, and how the American criminal justice system continues to marginalize youth from communities of color. His story shows how too often, low-income refugee youths are seen not as needing protection, but as the ones Americans need protection against.
RELEASED June 21, 2022
Self Evident Presents: “Get Up Stand Up” (by Re:Work)
When you get into a taxi, you usually know where you’re coming from, where you’re going, and what you’ll do when you get there. But what about your taxi driver – someone whose work is in constant motion, moving from destination to destination, meeting new people by the hour? This episode of Re:Work travels with Javaid on the path that brought him from a small agricultural town in Punjab, Pakistan to driving cabs in New York City.
RELEASED Jan 5, 2023
Self Evident Presents: “Before They Were Your Parents” (by Immigrantly)
For writer and reporter Neda Toloui-Semnani, understanding who her parents were and what motivated them to participate in the 1979 Iranian Revolution as young Iranian activists became crucial to making sense of her present. Her father was imprisoned and killed by the Islamic Republic, while her then-pregnant mother and three-year-old Neda escaped Iran for America. After her mother passed away, Neda tried to comprehend why her parents did what they did, which could be argued as both brave sacrifices and selfish risks.
RELEASED Jan 11, 2023
Self Evident Presents: “Arrival” (by VPM’s Resettled)
The LahPai family’s arrival to Virginia from Myanmar was highly anticipated. But even with support from a web of workers, volunteers, and neighbors, resettlement was (and still is) not a straightforward, clean-cut process. Why is that? In this debut episode from Resettled, meet the people helping the LahPais during their early days of resettlement... and explore some of the unexpected difficulties that arise when moving to a new country, a new culture and a new life.
RELEASED Jan 18, 2023
Self Evident Presents: “Exploring Ancestral Grief” (by Grief, Collected)
America! The land of opportunity! And also, for so many, the ambiguous loss of immigration and uprooting a life and a history comes with a complex web of emotions. In this episode of Grief, Collected by The Mash-Up Americans, hosts Amy S. Choi and Rebecca Lehrer speak with trauma therapist and educator Linda Thai — about ancestral grief, and how unmetabolized grief, particularly in "Mash-Up" families, is passed down through generations.
RELEASED Apr 25, 2023
Self Evident Presents: “How to Wash Your Brain” (by Boen Wang and Feet in 2 Worlds)
Boen’s mom thinks he’s brainwashed by the New York Times. Boen thinks his mom is brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party. But when Boen starts listening more deeply to his mom’s stories of growing up in China and then immigrating to the U.S., he spots the signs of his own political conditioning — and unravels the threads of Chinese and American history that led to the very fabrication of “brainwashing” as a concept.