Recently, the screenwriter Ed Solomon (“Men in Black,” “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” and the upcoming “Bill & Ted Face the Music,” among others) received a Facebook message from the account of a friend. He quickly realized that the friend’s account had been hacked by a scammer, but he decided, out of curiosity, to keep the exchange with the scammer going. What follows is the actual transcript of their conversation. (The friend’s name has been changed.)
10:26 A.M. Richard Weeks
Hello how are you doing
10:27 A.M. Ed Solomon
Good. How you been?
10:28 A.M. Richard Weeks
Am really doing great hope you have also been contacted by FGG
10:29 A.M. Ed Solomon
what’s that?
10:32 A.M. Richard Weeks
oh i really think you have been contacted by Federal government grant
10:37 A.M. Ed Solomon
No. At least I don’t think so
10:39 A.M. Richard Weeks
It’s a Give back money grant offer from the Financial domestic assistance agency to help people maintain the standard of living for both retired, deaf, worker, disable and old men and women. The benefit money is from the Agency’s head office to help all the community . . .
10:40 A.M. Ed Solomon
Wow that’s amazing. Do you remember just last week you and I were talking about how I was running out of cash?! So weird. Unfortunately I never got a letter though. Dang too bad
10:41 A.M. Richard Weeks
i got $150,000 delivered to me when i applied for the grant and you dont have to pay it back.. you can also apply
10:41 A.M. Ed Solomon
shut up. no way—are you serious??
10:42 A.M. Richard Weeks
I’m very serious and am not pulling your legs. I’m so happy cuz when i received the Money from Ups, I quickly paid off my bills and saved the rest to the bank. Though, currently thinking on Investments
10:43 A.M. Ed Solomon
wow. sure. i should check with linda. hey—did she call you? she was gonna call you last week
10:44 A.M. Richard Weeks
all you need to to is to search for the online claiming agent name Robinson walter (Sr) on facebook right now
10:45 A.M. Ed Solomon
yeah i’ll do that in a sec. did linda call you? she and i are having some problems (relationship stuff). she was gonna get your advice but i don’t know if she talked to you
10:49 A.M. Richard Weeks
No shes hasnt call me yet but i will have to talk may be tomorrow because am really busy since i got my grant
10:49 A.M. Ed Solomon
busy with what?
10:49 A.M. Richard Weeks
i just suggest him as your friend now try and get ahold of him
10:50 A.M. Ed Solomon
i need to deal with this linda stuff though. it’s getting bad.
10:50 A.M. Richard Weeks
what stuff did she did to you
10:51 A.M. Ed Solomon
she said she’s not into the relationship any more. you think maybe if i get this grant money she’ll be happier?
10:52 A.M. Richard Weeks
i am really sure this grant will also help you as well
10:54 A.M. Ed Solomon
yeah.. last time you guys talked i think she was telling you we were having money issues
10:54 A.M. Richard Weeks
yes but now am really happy and blessed. add him up
10:55 A.M. Ed Solomon
do you think she still loves me?
10:55 A.M. Richard Weeks
sure am really sure of that she will love you
10:57 A.M. Ed Solomon
hey—when you guys dated all those years ago, did she worry about money?
10:58 A.M. Richard Weeks
oh yes she really love money a lot. add the online agent up right now asap
10:58 A.M. Ed Solomon
i am gonna do that in a sec. can i call you though. which phone are you on? i’ll give you a call
11:00 A.M. Richard Weeks
oh my phone is not here with me for now
11:00 A.M. Ed Solomon
oh darn. what happened to it? hey— by the way—i forgot to ask: how’s your health? I was really worried about you for a while
11:02 A.M. Richard Weeks
yes been great am now feeling better now
11:02 A.M. Ed Solomon
oh so glad to hear that did you have to use antibiotics, or did the salve do the trick?
11:04 A.M. Richard Weeks
I used a antibootics hope you got the Agent yet his online
11:05 A.M. Ed Solomon
oh cool. i’m looking for him right now. glad the antibiotics worked. thanks for confiding in me about it last month. hey if i find the guy, what am i supposed to do?
11:06 A.M. Richard Weeks
Inbox him and tell him you are ready to claim your grant
11:06 A.M. Ed Solomon
and then what do i do?
11:07 A.M. Richard Weeks
he will put you through add him up , i already suggest him as your friend add him up
11:08 A.M. Ed Solomon
yeah about to do that. hey which antibiotic did you use? i think i have the same thing
11:10 A.M. Richard Weeks
what type of antibiotic did really used. Did you message the agent yet
11:12 A.M. Ed Solomon
i am trying to find him. but seriously -- this is important -- your rash is really all gone? you can have sex again?
11:13 A.M. Richard Weeks
www.facebook.com/onlineagent112 click on the link and add him up. Robinson Walter
11:13 A.M. Ed Solomon
he looks legit. where is he located?
11:14 A.M. Richard Weeks
Lakeland, Florida but they will deliver it to your door step
11:15 A.M. Ed Solomon
cool. okay let me try an d do that. wow. right to my door step? that’s amazing. is it always the same amount of money? and - seriously - i am worried about you. can you have sex again?
11:16 A.M. Richard Weeks
huh we will talk about that later okay claim the money first because it really going to help you
11:17 A.M. Ed Solomon
i am just worried about you. tell me you’re okay. i can’t get it off my mind
11:17 A.M. Richard Weeks
Sure am right now okay
11:18 A.M. Ed Solomon
so you CAN have sex again? i know how worried you were
11:19 A.M. Richard Weeks
yes i can
11:19 A.M. Ed Solomon
oh thank god. you must be so relieved
11:19 A.M. Richard Weeks
Thank a lot get ahold of the agent now his online
11:20 A.M. Ed Solomon
i’m having trouble making that link work. i’m gonna try again in a sec. hang on—linda is calling. shall i tell her i’m on with you?
11:20 A.M. Richard Weeks
no dont let her know
11:20 A.M. Ed Solomon
no why not?
11:21 A.M. Richard Weeks
i dont want know but i will call her my self okay. dont worry money first
11:21 A.M. Ed Solomon
oh perfect. yeah money first. good idea. do you think she is still in love with you? i need to know (i promise i won’t tell her) before i do this money thing
11:22 A.M. Richard Weeks
oh some how she still love me. add the agent up
11:22 A.M. Ed Solomon
goddarnit. i knew it. i knew she still loved you. hang on—i’m gonna tell her i’ll call her right back. i need to ask you something. can i ask you a personal question?
11:24 A.M. Richard Weeks
ok
11:24 A.M. Ed Solomon
thanks. okay. and tell me honestly. and i promise i won’t tell her. Is SHE the one who gave you the rash? (cause i was wondering why you and i both have the same thing)
11:26 A.M. Richard Weeks
yes shes the one
11:26 A.M. Ed Solomon
ohhhh man. ok. thank you for being honest. wow. i dont know what to do about this now. it’s like... you’re really trying to help me out by hooking me up with this money. but you’ve also been sleeping with my girlfriend. i’m torn. youve always given me the best advice. what should i do?
11:28 A.M. Richard Weeks
i will tell you later contact the agent
11:34 A.M. Ed Solomon
i’m trying. having a weird internet issue. am about to try again. but i’m struggling, man, i gotta be honest. i really want that money but i am dealing with a big problem: my best friend (you) just told me he is sleeping with my girlfriend. what would YOU do if you were me? i just tried that link but it didn’t go through. you sure you sent me the right one?
11:38 A.M. Richard Weeks
let me inform them to add you up
11:38 A.M. Ed Solomon
ok cool. hey—i’m starting to get really depressed. can i come over? maybe we can talk this out face to face
11:39 A.M. Richard Weeks
okay but am not at home now
11:39 A.M. Ed Solomon
where are you?
11:40 A.M.Richard Weeks
i went to get some thing
11:40 A.M. Ed Solomon
oh really? what?
11:42 A.M. Richard Weeks
WIL tell you later did you a friend request yet
11:43 A.M. Ed Solomon
will check in a second. right now my rash is really hurting. literally i am having trouble peeing. how long till yours cleared up?
11:44 A.M. Richard Weeks
2 days. check the friend request
11:44 A.M. Ed Solomon
what do i do about the pain, though?
11:51 A.M. Richard Weeks
go to any near pharmacy shop and explain it to them. you have not accept the request yet
11:58 A.M. Ed Solomon
sorry—been on the phone again with linda. i’m really trying not to tell her i know about your affair.
12:00 P.M. Richard Weeks
accept the agent friend request
12:00 P.M. Ed Solomon
are you mad at me?
12:01 P.M. Richard Weeks
the agent said it just like you are not in need of the grant
12:02 P.M. Ed Solomon
i totally need it. i am desperate for money - you know that. but right now i’m feeling very confused about my relationship with linda and now my friendship with you. are we good? you and me? i feel like you are mad at me
12:03 P.M. Richard Weeks
look here if you really want me to reply your message kindly accept the agent request
12:12 P.M. Ed Solomon
i don’t understand.. are you in touch with that agent? why are you pressuring me? if it’s a government grant, what’s the rush? is the government going away? dude -- seriously -- are you mad at me? HELLO? YOURE MY BEST FRIEND AND IM FEELING LIKE YOUVE HUNG UP ON ME NOW. Oh man, now Im really depressed.
12:15 P.M. Ed Solomon
okay, i’m gonna do the grant request now. what info do they need? HELLO? This is the worst day EVER.
